Be still and know that I am God

Humm....I don't really like the waiting part! Well it's been quite a while  since we've heard anything about our adoption process. We've heard stuff but it has been.....the date had to be pushed back, and pushed back again and pushed back again. Seems like every time we turn around something new has come up. But the strange thing is that a lot has happened during this time. I was able to go on my first international missions trip to the Dominican Republic and Eddie finished school and  got his first job as a lineman. God has blessed us both tremendously!!!!! Even with all these amazing things happening there are moments when we feel like the adoption process Is going no where. I wanted everything to go smoothly and quickly but its not. God has spoken loud and clear and what he has said is not really what I wanted to hear at first and that was BE STILL!!!! If you know me at all, those words don't taste good coming out of my mouth. I like quick and busy and god your telling me to be still!!!! I don't like this!!!! If it's your will for us to adopt why do I have to be still, shouldn't I be moving and pushing it forward until something happens? These are the thoughts that were running through my mind until I got back from my trip and reflected on what I wrote in my journal while I was gone to the DR. While in the DR God revealed something to me, something that I had been telling myself I wouldn't do BEFORE I left for the trip. I was one of those people who said that I would never adopt internationally because there were plenty of kids here close to home that I could adopt and that there was no need to adopt far away. WOW!!!!! Did God sure show me! See while I was there I realized that the orphaned children in other conntries don't have a government that takes care of them the way that we do, the kids here still get food, education and have a home usually with a foster parent but those kids who are in other countries, they don't!!!! Some don't get food, shelter clothing or education. They live in the streets and in orphanages that can't afford to feed them! That is a totally different scenario. See when you adopt those kids you are truly saving their lives!!!! And that my friends didn't sit well with my soul!!!! God opened my eyes!!!! So now my heart is extremely torn and my world is shaken. See, I had it all planned our already. I was going to get my child from the U.S. and everything would be great but now I don't know what to do!!!!!! When I told Eddie this in the back of my mind I was hoping that he would say no and that I was crazy but it didn't happen! He agreed!!!! Now my mind is really messed up! Now the waiting seems okay and I have a peace about the waiting that I can't explain! I have been praying  hard and listening to gods voice but I'm still at a loss on what to do next. We've set up a meeting with the Local adoption committee for September and my heart is okay, right now my heart is okay with waiting for 5 years to adopt and this isn't like me. I can't explain  it !!!! But what I do know is that god wants me to be still right now and wait for his prompting. So that's what I'll do. I will BE STILL! Trusting my God and his plan because his word tells me that he knows the plans he has for me already, plans to not harm me and plans to prosper me and give me a hope and future. I'm clinging to that promise with all of my heart and while I'm waiting I'm serving him! I've planned another trip to Guatemala next year to work with babies at the malnutrition center and I'm so excited!! I have to share this from my trip. I have never ever in my life felt extreme peace and happiness the way that I did when I was with the kids in the DR. I can't even put into words how amazing it was to be loved by them and to love on them. I was the happiest I ever was in my life. It was perfect,  God breathed, and I know it was because I was doing what god created me to do and because I was using the talents that he gave me! It was so special that I felt like it was a small glimpse of what we will feel like the day we go home to heaven because we will be worshiping and serving our God doing  what we were created to do and if that's what heaven is like, I'm Ready!!!!! I also got to feel the love of a child ...,,something I've yet to experience. I can't wait until God gives me that and I know one day he will...but until them I'll be still and wait knowing that it's coming :)