Well it has been quite some time since I have last updated our adoption blog. Many things have happened since then...we have had quite an adventure in this adoption journey. Back in October after much prayer we had decided to place our adoption on hold. We had just completed one year of the waiting process in our adoption. Our homestudy was up for renewal and we were heartbroken that we had not recieved a child yet. So with discouraged hearts we decided to wait a while and wait to hear from God on what the next step in the process would be. Well the answer we recieved was a shock! One afternoon in early November Eddie approached my and told me that after much prayer he needed to talk to me about the adoption. He proceeded to tell me that God had placed me on his heart and that he was supposed to tell me that I needed to stop controlling the situation and trust him completely. The next words he said were god breathed because it was something I needed to come to terms with...he said "Linda, you keep prayimg for God to bless us with a baby but how can he do that when you will not allow him the chance to because you are trying to control the situation instead of letting him control the situation" those words pierced my heart because I knew they we true. He also told me that he was really feeling that God was telling him that we should try to have our own baby, to just let go and trust him. This was NOT what I wanted to hear... not beacause I didnt want to but because there was so much fear involved in that decision. The fear of it happening again, the fear of having to live those moments again shook me to my core. After much prayer and finally letting go on my part we decided that this would be good and that we were ready for whatever God brought our way because we knew that he was with us. We decided to try for 6 months and that if it didnt happen it was because God had something else in mind for us. We still left the lines of communication open in case an adoptive child became available as well just in case :) It has almost been 6 months to the day and God once again shows up!
When I pray for our adoption I always pray that God speak to me through Eddie because with me there are to many emotions that get in the way from what I want and from what God wants. A couple of weeks ago God had been working on me again with the adoption process...and once again God spoke through Eddie. I asked Eddie one day if he would pray for the adoption again. I told him that he had been working on me and I just needed him to pray. Like before, he said "Linda, he's been talking to me about it too" I think we should start working on trying to find out more about other options in the adoption process. WOW!!! God really is amazing! He explained to me that he had come accross our adoption binder while cleaning out some paperwork and something told him to place it on our office desk because we would be needing it soon and he did. He took me into the room where he had placed it. My heart smiled because I knew it was confirmation from God that we needed to get on board with getting things completed and moving forward. So here we are. We sent the last items to heartland yesterday to complete our renewed home study application and will be having a visit soon and have been researching several agencies. We will be visiting with one next month and have already began the process of paperwork and also grant writng to help us cover the expenses of a private domestic infant adoption. We know it can be costly but have faith that if this is the direction that God wants us to go, he will provide!! I don't know why God took us through this season, it could possibly be because he wanted me to let go and let him or because he wanted to test our faithfulness, whatever the reason I know there was something we needed to learn from the experience. I can not wait to see what our journey holds. We are trusing him and trusting in his promise that we can do all things through him. I read a quote the other day that pretty much sums up where we are right now and how we have grown since this
"Never let the odds keep you from doing what in your heart you know you were meant to do"
The odds do seem like they are against us but we serve a mighty God who has created us for a mighty purpose and I believe with all my heart that we will one day soon be holding in our arms a child made just for us by God :)
The picture above has an awesome story that goes along with it that I will share soon, but I am so thankful for how God used Tina to speak to me and how this entire picture even came to be painted :)
